so disenchanted by everything!

I feel as if the blogging community is like high school.And I ‘m the kid,who arrived late and have weird clothes.Since my blog has no picture and I hardly ever write,it’s unfair of me to assume that i would get some advice or support.Still it feels good to write here.At least can delete everything and be done with the lot in a few minutes.Where diaries are harder to burn and would have to hide them from prying eyes all the time.
Am discovering a whole new side of husband.it’s like he has forgotten me.Granted,he has been working very hard.Ever since he was laid off,we have been struggling.I have to give him credit that he always manages to put good food on the table etc etc but when he has time,he would much rather talk to friends than me.When i was pregnant with M,he didn’t help much.At that time,I was under mistaken assumption that am super mom and can manage everything by my self.Afterall I was doing it for past 2 years.But I had forgotten,i was all by myself(now there’s MIL….Oh My Word!!) and no new baby.
R is ready to be potty trained.He isn’t very vocal and would much rather show me the poo then say he’s done.I have to keep a hawk’s eye on him.Also he has taken to climb up on cupboards and stand and call me to get him down.S goes under the radar a lot but is such a joyful child(when he wants too)he’s way head stronger.Naps,bed times,all meals are mentally exhausting.And now I don’t have time to scour blogs to find what works for other people.
Take today,I had a ton of dishes.The boys were done with their milk and they had to be brushed.Husband was awake but would much rather watch TV than help me out with the kids.MIL went to bed since she is sick.(we all are.I had a nasty ear ache for past few days which got so bad that even my jaws hurt.It’s by no means better.Just masked by Tylenol)MIL is behaving as if she is passing away!it’s only few sneezes and a runny nose,lady!So MIL and husband were in their respective beds and I spotted R taking off his diaper(I was doing dishes),so I took him to the washroom while the baby screamed himself blue.Baby is sick too.But despite all that noise and my repeated asking,no one came to pick up the baby.So I had to hoist the baby in my arms while I helped R wipe and stuff.
Am just so tired.Mirena is making my limbs ache a lot.All the time.In the morning I can’t even walk properly for the first few minutes.I know,I should take care of myself and that it would affect my children…blah..blah….but we currently have no car(Husband is taking bus to work.He is way too busy to buy a car:-S)and it’s -22 outside.i can’t go anywhere.Am not taking my lot and MIL to the dr.’s office,might decide to throw myself under the bus or her….hmmmm
(just a joke:P)

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